Want to live morally? It’s easy. Do ‘good’ things and refrain from ‘evil’. Real life isn’t so simple. Most actions contain elements of both good and evil. Sometimes, telling someone the truth causes considerable grief. Is honesty always the best policy? When your dying parents ask you if they did a great job raising you, you could be honest and retort, “Well, had you supported me instead of always criticizing me I might not have needed eleven years of therapy!” Or is kindness the higher good in which case you smilingly reassure your parents of how grateful you are for all they did. Your friend proudly shows you the new car he just bought. You know the car received negative reviews and what is more, your friend overpaid. Should you be honest or kind? Many spouses tell little white lies or withhold information. Wives lie about their dress size or misstate the cost of their hairdressing. Husbands lie about meeting friends for a beer or the cost of their hobbies. Are these spouses behaving badly because honesty is a virtue or are they acting morally because there is value in a peaceful marriage? So what’s a person to do? Study the Bible—that’s what! God didn’t give Moses a long list of simple do’s and don’ts. The purpose of the entire narrative structure is to throw a laser beam of clarity onto the vast spectrum of human circumstance and challenge. Thousands of pages of ancient Jewish wisdom convey vital information that spring from what seem to be simple stories. Let’s peek into the lives of Abraham and Sarah? In Genesis 18, Sarah overhears an angel telling Abraham that he and Sarah will have a son. And Sarah laughed in herself saying, “After I have withered will I conceive—and my husband is old!”
(Genesis 18:12) And the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh saying, ‘Shall I truly give birth though I am old?’ ”
(Genesis 18:13) But wait! Sarah clearly mentioned Abraham’s age as a factor while God Himself leaves out that humiliating detail. Ancient Jewish wisdom cites these vital verses in teaching us how to act when there is a truth/kindness clash. God withheld information for the sake of marital harmony. Here are some questions to ask ourselves when we are unsure what to say. 1: Will telling the truth harm someone? For instance, imagine you allowed me to stay at your home while I was visiting your town. Upon my return, a pesky neighbor asks me where I stayed. If I tell him that I stayed with you, he’ll cadge an invitation and make your life a misery. I am obligated to be evasive in my answer to protect you. 2: Will telling the truth help someone? You purchased some non-returnable item and ask me how I like it. Had my honest evaluation been important, you would have asked me before you committed to the purchase. Now, you are really asking for my affirmation. And that is what you should get. 3: Could my words hurt someone’s feelings without achieving any good? Granting a flawed parent peace by not expressing your negative feelings is laudable. 4: Am I going to derive a mean and malicious pleasure out of telling the truth? That is a sure clue that I should zip my lip. 5. When someone in general greeting asks, “What’s happening,?” this is not an invitation to pass on gossip or bad news no matter how truthfully those responses would answer the question. Truth is a virtue. On rare occasion, so is suppressing it. Each Genesis “story” reveals timeless truths filled with advice for our daily lives. I believe I was created to make ancient Jewish wisdom accessible to all and in my Genesis Journeys series I excavate these treasures and reveal them. The Genesis Journeys audio CD set is on sale this week. Please bless us while you bless yourself with this set of four life-enhancing studies. One more point. Are you being less than honest with your spouse? There are no such things as white lies – only forbidden or permitted speech.
| I watched Confessions of a Shopaholic on a recent flight. It may have been amusing, but it didn’t strike a chord in me. I am eminently capable of walking through a department store – especially an expensive one – without being tempted to buy. My weak spot is used book stores. I have difficulty walking away empty-handed. And what gems I have found! One of my favorite discoveries was... To read the rest of Susan's Musings click here |
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